Making Butter Researched

We are thrilled that Grand'ma & Grand'Pa are coming! They will get to spend time with the girls while Hubbie is in the hospital. Tonight I'm in that final run to "get ready for company". We'll welcome them tomorrow night.

Saturday will be the Hubbie's final day on real food.... we'll have to celebrate that!!! It sounds like he's talking Olive Garden!! He's not going with my pic of Dudleys!! That may have to be my fast food when the girls want Chic-fil-A!

Today Lady Bug and I made butter!! Using a water bottle with a marble she shook all her 5 years could stand!! I shook some too!! And then we add the heavy cream to the mixer and made butter!!! Yummm. We enjoyed it on fresh bread... and Daddy enjoyed it tonight!

Love Bug had a very hard day. Any day that's a grump day is a very hard day. And time and time again that was her choice. The start was an ugly mark on her sisters coloring. The discipline was she had to mark her own coloring... Oh that made her mad.... Later the final blow was a punch to sissy's tummy. At that point she expired and finished day on her own.

Tomorrow is new with no mistakes! We'll enjoy the weekend with the Grands and then Monday is check in at GSMC. Praying for a smooth surgery with no complications. Pray that God gives me strength & that I walk in faith and not fear. Also today I'm a week from the miscarriage and my body yet in that struggle. Please pray healing inside & out both of us!! And no D&C for me... I'll do blood work next week....

His grace is sufficient! Off to do laundry & straighten!! ss

8 Days to Surgery

Well Huble saw Dr. Cook today & his surgery is on the schedule for 1p on Tuesday Oct. 2. He is ready to have this done yet there is wonder if it has been long enough. His emergency surgery was on 7/31…. Pray for peace and God’s clear direction.

Sunday – Fluids Diet

Monday – Check in to Hospital 10a

Tuesday – Surgery 1p to remove the colostomy

7 to 10 days in the hospital!! Recovery up to 6 weeks.

Butterfly

My Ladybug is a great bug catcher!!  This butterfly was so friendly and enjoyed our visit. 

Blessed be Your Name

These are the words that have brought me comfort this week.

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say

Lord, blessed be Your name

God is in the process of bringing healing to my broken heart and body. Slowly but surely! We’ve enjoyed a wonderful weekend with family! And been so blessed by wonderful ribeye steaks from precious neighbors!! Thanks!

We are truly blessed!! ss

Blessed Be Your Name by Matt Redman

Album: Where Angels Fear To Tread (2002)

by Matt Redman

Blessed Be Your Name

In the land that is plentiful

Where Your streams of abundance flow

Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name

When I'm found in the desert place

Though I walk through the wilderness

Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name

When the sun's shining down on me

When the world's 'all as it should be'

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name

On the road marked with suffering

Though there's pain in the offering

Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say

Lord, blessed be Your name

Comments
Sep. 24, 2007 - Posted by lklivingston
Do you know, that's exactly the song I've been thinking of for you this week? It seemed so fitting.

Nov. 30, 2007 - Thank you for the song
Posted by WisdomBuilders
It's been a long time since I've sung that song, but I remember the year we had to evacuate from our home and didn't know if we would be back or not. A car full of our most precious keepsakes, and that might have been all. I sang that song everyday away from home, not knowing for sure. We did return, but I felt so at peace from giving up the worry. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Tears! Healing??

I'm quite a bit out of the loop since loosing our little one... as of yet I still tear up on the phone. That makes groups very overwhelming.

I tried to go to drop the girls at AWANA tonight. I hoped for little exposure. I got more than I bargained for.

1- "How are you?" Good (I really am good from where I've been) but I felt scolded... "You don't have to be good...." (I soon learned that 'good' was a safe answer.)

2- "How are you doing?" It's been a really hard week. (Well, that did me in! With sunglasses in place I quickly retreated with wet eyes... the "good" was easer to handle...)

3- "When's your date?" (I know the question was in innocent... but I was toast.... as the tears came I retreated. I was so thankfull my wonderful Hubbie could explain and get our kidos.)

I’ve heard tears are healing.... but right now they just feel like pain. I'm nowhere ready for these tears to pick up and carry me away. It is so much easer at home. I'm yet praying for healing and I know who heals!! His name is Jesus.

My heart goes out to a girlfriend who also lost her little one just a week before me! We share the same pain. We are both are praying for another friend to yet have a baby girl and that she’s not be burden by our losses!!!

Comments
Sep. 24, 2007 - Posted by lklivingston
I suspected the reason for the sunglasses, and I think they were a good choice. I didn't even try to seek you out last night. I'm sure I wouldn't have done as well in the same situation. It may be awhile before groups are a comfortable situation.

No Wheat & Dairy

It has been an early morning today! No sleep as my breathing has been impaired! I'm not sure being off wheat and dairy is working. Maybe I'm not off enough. I've replaced wheat w/ Spelt. It is an old fashioned wheat & no gluten (according to some) & not a hybrid. (Suzanne I've seen you message via e @ WTM but have been unable to respond... hummm yet figuring out that.... ;)

With the spelt... I'm made bread that's been wonderful... Replaced wheat for spelt & I've also used coconut oil to replace butter.

I've also used it in my niemen marcus cookies! The spelt & coconut oil made the recipe more crumbly and hard to ball. I put the cookie dough in a zip bag & rolled it even & cut it inot cookie sizes & froze. I baked them last night and they were wonderful and a bit square!!!

But I'm still up and not sleeping. Maybe I should be off spelt too!! So much for the bread in the oven this morning!! Or maybe I'm allergic to cotton... maybe silk sheets would help!! That's my ponderings!

Hubbie & girls yet sleep. As well as Memom & Aunt Karen visiting... I guess I'll be on an alternate schedule being up at 5!

Joy comes in the Morning! I've seen the beautiful start of this day!

O! My Lady bug is up & wants to color!! J

Comments
Sep. 24, 2007 - Cookbook
Posted by lklivingston
A mutual friend had given me an allergy-elimination cookbook. I believe I gave it to another mutual friend who deals with food issues, but I suspect that if you're interested we could borrow it back (since she doesn't really need it). If you follow the plan in the cookbook, you should be able to confirm whether or not food allergies are a problem and if so, what they are. Of course, what it means is that your diet for several weeks would be really horrible (something sort of like what mine is right now - lol).

Flowers

They are beautiful!! Such sweetness in our sorrow... Thank you!!!! ss

Great Is Thy Faithfulness

His mercies are new every morning. God’s timing… The girls and I enjoyed a walk this morning. The birds were singing and we enjoyed the cooler temps.

As we walked I’ve been slowed today by the coming storm as I physically catch up w/ loss that I already know. Cramps I expected but contractions were a surprise. Even my water broke this morning. I’m praying for God to clean me inside and out… and praying no D&C.

Thanks to precious friends who capture my girls and extend grace to me!

Great is Thy faithfulness

Great is Thy faithfulness

Morning by morning

New mercies I see

All I have needed Thy hand hath provided

Great is Thy faithfulness



His grace is sufficient.

No Sleep

Oh! It is late and the hubbie is long asleep!!! I just tossed and turned... and remembered the things I'd wanted to do in the kitchen!!

So in about 30 minutes or so... I've made yogurt, spelt bread to be done at 7:30, and spelt pseudo Niemen cookies!! We'll enjoy those at the zoo as we go visit the Capybara we read about today!!! Maybe I'll add recipes tomorrow!! I'm off wheat & dairy... and used spelt and coconut oil... this is all new and an experiment!! G'nite!! I'm thanking God who gives rest!!! ss

No Little One & Prayer Matters

Prayer- Monday Hubbie joined me at my first Ob appt and I was so eager to hear the baby’s heartbeat.

Alas, no heartbeat was found and a sonogram followed by blood work confirmed this little one did not make it.

Pray for God’s healing on my body, on my broken heart and hopes. Pray His protection of my girls and all their hopes for a little one. (Their coloring have crying eyes.) Pray for God’s clear direction and timing, I feel very pressured to be over this by Hubbie's surgery only a week or so out.

Pray for his surgery to go well and no complications October 2. He’s again looking at a week in the hospital. Pray for family who’s coming to have a good visit with the girls.

Prayer matters!! Thanks for your continued prayer. Yesterday I asked Hubbie if this was a faith quake. We're both ok. We're shaken yet we both firmly know God is faithful. His word has been precious and life to me throughout this season. This week in Psalm 139 even the darkness is not dark to him. I'm yet walking in a darkness with grieving this loss and I know He is my every present help in need.

My grieving this little one started on Monday. I knew things were not right. All the hope of the 11 weeks we waited vanished like vapor. The cute Christmas dress that would be so cute with a bump rather than a square pillow is not to be. Oh gracious. We laughed as friends prayed for a stinky baby boy!!

He gives and takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Today we girls took the day off and headed to the zoo. We had a wonderful time!! We even came home with somewhere between 1 and 20 antlions!!! Anyone want our extras??? It was a great distraction from the heaviness….

I’m yet claiming His yoke is easy & His burden is light, but it has gotten a lot heavier…

Morning in Mourning

This morning I woke w/ the heaviness of what's to come!

I'm standing on My yoke is easy & my burden is light...

And we've been learning Psalm 139....

It is heavy that God's not knitting!! But He's yet in control & good...

I've found comfort in the verses there....

Where can I flee from your presence...

Even the darkness is not dark to you...

We'll talk w/ the girls tonight.. That will be hard.... Pray for God to guard their tender hearts...

I'm trying to figure out the timing of what's to come.... I figure I'm heading to a DNC with no changes on this end... and this really needs to happen before Hubbie's surgery, I don’t think I can head for the long time w/ this...

That's my grace for today!!

Thanks for your prayers!

Comments
Sep. 18, 2007 - Talk
Posted by lklivingston
I hope all went as well as you could hope for with the girls. I told mine. Oldest was upset. Younger was upset but showed it by being obnoxious, because that's how she handles stress. Hopefully she won't say anything rude next time she sees you!

Math First

Wow... Love Bug picked math first today!! Daily we pick 2 of our 7 weekly AO2 books. Generally we start w/ our books and end with math. Today she picked The Little Duke and Our Island Story but did not want to start here.

For the first time the pick was to start with math. We've just started MEP a free online math program out of Brittan. She's enjoying our new math routine. http://www.cimt.plymouth.ac.uk/projects/mepres/primary/default.htm

Here's today's math.... Draw a ladder & number the steps, count up & down, skip rungs.... next sequence 5 items shut eyes & shuffle, what changed... counting songs 2s & 3s girls skip and sing.... then we worked w/ greater & less than signs using number & sign cards.... then we worked w/ shapes matching and comparing... and lastly we worked in the workbook w/ greater & less than, & matching...

She did great!!! And we enjoyed it all!!! Wow! Math was fun!!

(And it was easier than what else was going on! And good distraction)

Dr Appointment No Heartbeat

Hey- I saw the Dr. today and things are not as they should be.... There was no heart beat or development that should be there by my dates.... We'll do testing later in the week for definitive results.... I'm not saying anything to the girls yet... and I'm mostly covered up in tears... no calls please.

The Lord gives & the Lord takes away,

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

ss

Round 2 Getting Ready

Hubbie saw the Dr and he’s heading into tests to hit his 2^nd surgery. He’s eager to end the colostomy and so glad it is temporary. Our compassion goes to those who cannot reverse. We are looking at an October 2^nd surgery and another week in the hospital!! His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

Day 5 Saturday Going Home Soon

Jesus is the Great Physician!

Today Hubbie graduated from ice chips to tomato soup, broth, pudding and an
Icee!!!! It has been a banner day! Lots of smiles & laughs & even a
canasta card game!! This a.m. the Dr. even said MAYBE he could get out
tomorrow! Wow!! The end is in sight! Only the IV is holding him down!
Tomorrow he gets a real breakfast!!!

The girls finally got to come back and see daddy! They are enjoying
time with Memom & Aunt Karen!! The wall is filled w/ colorings and
beautiful notes many have sent online at GS. THANKYOU!!!!!

Praise I've found the song God has played over and over in my
ears... strength will rise as wait upon the Lord!! He is the Everlasting
God.... He has been our Strong Deliverer!!! We have had many chances to
share the reason of our hope in Jesus. Even the huge stak of Invitation CDs
my girls collected have been distributed! I'd thought there were way too
many at our home... and God knew they'd be needed thru this hospital stay!!

As we look at the days to come it is overwhelming... work, vacation (the dr
said we could go!!!!), and another surgery on the horrizon... not to
mention the bills for our visit... God is our Strength and Provider! Pray
our eyes stay on HIM and see these detail thru His eyes!! Even as we look 3
months to Hubbie's surgery.... 5 months or so beyond that we have another
hospital stay... as we just found out we are expecting a little Speicher!!
Oh!! All that during this week has truely been a joy in the trial. And yes
another prayer!

Psalm 40:1-3 I waited paitently on the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and
heard my cry. He brought me up also out of the miry clay and set my feet
upon a rock, and established my goings. He put a new song in my mouth, a
hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in
the LORD.

Waiting!
ss

Everlasting God

We wait upon the Lord.... He so comforted me with these words... We sang them in worship just the Sunday before.... They we a treasure to find and get the CD!!!

Chris Tomlin http://www.absolutelyrics.com/lyrics/artist/chris_tomlin/

Everlasting God



Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord

We will wait upon the Lord

We will wait upon the Lord



Our God, You reign forever

Our hope, our Strong Deliverer

You are the everlasting God

The everlasting God

You do not faint

You won't grow weary



Our God, You reign forever

Our hope, our Strong Deliverer

You are the everlasting God

The everlasting God

You do not faint

You won't grow weary



You're the defender of the weak

You comfort those in need

You lift us up on wings like eagles

Day 3 Homesick

The days r beginning 2 run 2gether. PRAISE Hubbie is up walking and

counting laps- 5 on the last walk. Love Bug n Lady Bug came yesterday.

They were thrilled 2 see daddy. I slept all night at home. My mom is

coming 2day 2 b with girls. PRAYER Hubbie b rid of another tube,

upgrade 2 liquids. Good nurses, last nite was rough. 2day I got the

girls 2 see daddy... but Love Bug had a fever... we both cried. Love Bug

also learned a new word... homesick. It was so hard 2 leave them with

friends. 2day has been hard 4 me with many tears, often a surprise 2

me. GOD IS GOOD we cling 2 Him. Isaiah 40:31 ss

Day 2 What Happened

Early Tues morn Hubbie had emergency surgery 4 a burst diverticuli n the colon. This morning he is moving around as far as his many tubes allow. He is doing great. Yesterday was mostly recovery from major surgery n sleep. Another surgery will follow n 12 wks. A HUGE THANKS 2 all 4 prayer and help w the girls. We except to b here 4 to 7 days. God is faithful. Ss

Ok After Surgery

surgery went well. 5-7 days in hospital.

Pray Emergency Surgery

Hubbie heading 2 surgery, first of 2 abdominal. pray healing. peacethat I not fear.